White Normalcy, Part II
"There's right, and then there's wrong," I heard myself say.
It was a shock even to myself. My words felt unbalanced, like a toddler trying to find proper footing.
I am unpracticed and fearful in situations where I need to be seeking reconciliation alongside the truth. I am a drunken, walking toddler. I tend to associate legalism with keeping the unheard voiceless, and my comment somehow rang too...legalistic for me. Who was I offending, who was I shutting out, by believing in these words?
"Yea...but there's a way to still find balance, Shawn."
Looking into my eyes, he responded with exactly what I would have said in most other circumstances. A rebuttal didn't matter. I was still trying to reconcile what I said with my old paradigm: that actions can be justified based on personal intent and motivation.
Perhaps I was confusing justification with: understanding, compassion, empathy, grief.
I do know this:
You must give your mind something to do. You must set your mind on creating something. It does not have to be colorful or passionate or artistic, but it must be uniquely you. You have to respect yourself enough to take care of you.
If we do not actively engage our senses or our imaginations, we risk diving into deep dissatisfaction. At its best, it is a numbing discontent. At its worst, it is an endangerment to our livelihoods.
We cannot give into the boredom.
I ask this not as the perfect Christian, but as one who is intimately familiar with the patterns of functional addiction and the destruction it unleashes: what will it take for the world to commit to sobriety?