no other way.

I'm surrounded by two laptops, a strewn hoodie, some pillows, a used empty mug, some trash, and a scarf. And some books. Three, specifically. All partially read through.

I truly wouldn't have it any other way.

Here is what is going on in my brain right now as I wind down for the evening, with one song on rotation for focus: before showering, hanging my laundry, and dipping my brain in a bath [read: meditation – it truly is good for you]:

  • geez, i'm messy
  • DAMN, this song is good
  • i was called intoxicating today. by someone i really respect. so cool. what a cool compliment. it gave me an "other-perspective": seeing how linear brains are more likely to perceive me [because, as this post is evidence of, my mind is not naturally inclined to the linear]
  • mistakes are good. failing to learn from your mistakes: bad
  • my counselor saw miracles in the things we spoke of tonight. this is important because we become so conditioned to our daily, that we often fail to see the miracles in our own lives until someone pokes us and says, hey, doofus! this is a miracle! this is what you have prayed for! this is your growth, this is God, this is the not yet, this is your promised Hope, this is your LIFE! you are a miracle! the things going on in your life are miracles! i am so proud of you!

and that, my friends, is why we need good people in our lives. the presence of happiness does not negate the presence of sadness. we are living in the not yet. sadness is valid.

our feelings are valid.

Life just makes sense through the lens of Christ. It just does. Please don't ask me to explain it. I'll cry, because I'll be so frustrated of not being able to do it well. My story made zero sense until I had Christ to compare it to; and before having Christ to compare it to, all I wanted was what Christ was promising. So I went for it.

It just makes sense. And I want everyone to celebrate with me.